my thougt and my feeling

right now i'm just thinking. thinking of my life. thinking about my-future-job. thinking about my own job-right-now. i don't want to apply any company randomly and perfunctory. and for my own job-right-now, how can i finish all of works in one night? am i sangkuriang? no, i'm not. am nella, the girl who is searching something certain in this uncertain condition.

beside that, i'm feeling so guilty. i often make a bad responses, speak in high tone and answer my daddy with 'enough' words (jawab seadanya). ya, i'm getting so bored if my daddy ask me about the progress of my job searching. i'm getting sad and angry in the same time when daddy ask me to apply in A company, B company, C company, and so on 'till Z company. Oh noooo, the fact is not like that. After Z, you still have AA, AB, AC,......till drop. I know all of my reactions and my deeds are improperly. ooo God, am really sorry. -_____-..but i want to apply to the company i'm really interested in, not all company.

ooo my God, my deliverer, my provider, I give all of me into Your hands. I know You are faithful. Teach me Your way, o Lord. I depend on You. I trust in You. I don't want to walk to a place that You are not there. I want to walk to every place You have stepped.

*sorry for english (structure, grammer, pronounces, dll) mistakes